Letters to Finnick
by Spaidel
Summary: Annie writes letters to Finnick after his death. One-shot.


_A one-shot about Annie writing letters to Finnick._

_I just wrote so many parody fics lately, I wanted to write something more serious. _

_And Finnick and Annie are my favorite couple, so I just had to write about them._

_English isn't my first language, and I suck at grammar, so I know there are a few mistakes here and there... ignore them if you can._

_DISCLAIMER: I do not own The Hunger Games. Suzanne Collins does._

* * *

~oOo~

_July 5_

Dear Finnick,

You died a month ago. It seems like it's been longer, but no. Just one month. The worst month of my life.

I don't know how to cope. I don't know if I'm able to cope. I just don't want to.

Beetee said that I should write letters to you. To help me deal with the whole thing. I don't think it would, but I decided to try and write to you anyway.

I miss you.

Annie.

~oOo~

_July 12_

Dear Finnick,

I'm scared. I'm alone, I have no one. I can't do it, I need you here. You were always here with me. Why aren't you here now, when I need you the most?

I need you.

Annie.

~oOo~

_July 16_

Dear Finnick,

I feel really bad. It's like I'm sick. Ever since you died I feel that way. I throw up almost every morning.

Annie.

~oOo~

_July 28_

Dear Finnick,

I'm sorry.

You always told me to try and fight it, to fight the urge to sink into my oblivious state.

I'm sorry because I can't do it. Not without you, not after everything that happened.

I returned to my old habits. I can't help but feel safe here, in my obliviousness. At least here I don't think of anything, and can pass days without thinking of things.

At least in this state I don't have to remember you.

But I'm sorry, because you helped me so much and it was all for nothing.

Annie.

~oOo~

_July 30_

Dear Finnick,

I dreamed about you last night. You were in pain. I was terrified. There was so much blood. I couldn't help you, you were bleeding too much.

You died in that dream.

And then I woke up and realized this nightmare, your death, didn't end. It continued. My life without you continued.

I'm living my worst nightmare.

I'm scared.

Annie.

~oOo~

_August 9_

Dear Finnick,

I'm constantly tired. I'm weak. I barely eat, barely sleep.

Yet, my belly keeps getting bigger and bigger.

I don't know what it means, so I try not to think about it. It's not important anyway. Nothing's important now.

Annie.

~oOo~

_August 26_

Dear Finnick,

Johanna came to visit today. I didn't see her since we left District 13. I missed her, she reminds me of you. She misses you too, even if she doesn't say it. She looks more miserable than usual, so I know she misses you.

She looked surprised when she saw me. She looked at my stomach, which is quite big by now. I didn't know what to tell her, so I didn't say anything about it, and she let it go.

Before she left though, she asked me if I'm eating more than before. I told her no. She then said that I should go see a doctor.

I don't know why she wants me to see a doctor, it's just my belly getting a bit bigger. Not too much, I'm still thin enough. But Johanna made me promise her that I'd go and see a doctor. I'll go to our only doctor in District Four, Bob Taylor. You know who he is, you liked him. Mags' nephew.

I hope it's nothing. It's probably nothing.

Annie.

~oOo~

_September 4_

Dear Finnick,

It's not nothing.

I went to see Bob Taylor today. He looked at my belly and told me to remove my shirt. I didn't want to, it made me feel nervous. He checked my belly, and my shirt was on me the entire time. He checked some other things, and in the end he said that I'm not sick.

I'm just pregnant.

I'm pregnant, Finnick. Your child is growing inside of me.

And I'm terrified.

I can't be a mother. I don't know how to. I can barely take care of myself, I can't take care of someone else!

I don't know what I'm going to do.

But I'm not sad, because it's your child, it's a part of you.

I cried. I'm still crying. I feel lost, I feel terrified, but I'm also so, so happy.

It doesn't make any sense. I know it doesn't. I don't care. That's how I feel right now.

We're having a child.

Annie.

~oOo~

_September 17_

Dear Finnick,

I told Johanna and Katniss and Peeta about my pregnancy. Johanna decided to move to District Four and live with me. I need her, I need someone to be with me, because I can't do it by myself, and I'm grateful that she's coming.

She's dating someone, did you know that? Johanna Mason is dating a guy. You know him, I think. I wasn't there long enough to know. Gale Hawthorne is his name. They live together in District Two.

Johanna will be here in two days.

Annie.

~oOo~

_September 19_

Dear Finnick,

Johanna's here. She got here a few hours ago. She's sleeping now. I can't sleep.

We are both in the guests' room. I just can't sleep in our old room, I can't. I can't if you're not with me. So I sleep here, in the guests' room.

Are you angry at me, that I'm so weak that I can't even sleep in the room we shared? I bet you are. I'm sorry.

Annie.

~oOo~

_October 6_

Dear Finnick,

I don't feel sick anymore. I don't throw up. My belly is even bigger.

I'm four months pregnant.

Johanna's a great help. She makes sure I eat and rest. She gets me out of my trance-like state when I get into one. She tries to make me laugh when I'm in my lowest lows.

She tries to be you and take care of me.

The only problem is she's not you.

Annie.

~oOo~

_October 30_

Dear Finnick,

Everything around me is just so dark, it's like I'm walking in a tunnel but there's no end to it, there's no light to go to. Just darkness.

I hope wherever you are now, everything's bright.

Annie.

~oOo~

_November 15_

Dear Finnick,

I'm five months pregnant now.

The days go by. My belly gets big. It's weird. I'm not used to it. It's hard to sleep and my back hurts.

I can feel the baby move inside of me. I don't know if I like the feeling. It's weird, but it means it's alive and moving.

Bob Taylor told me he can tell me if it's a boy or a girl.

I'm meeting him tomorrow.

Annie.

~oOo~

_November 16_

Dear Finnick,

It's a boy.

Annie.

~oOo~

_December 2_

Dear Finnick,

Is it even possible, to feel so attached to someone you never saw?

I feel attached to him. Our baby. He lives inside of me, of course I feel attached to him.

I wonder if he'd look like you.

Annie.

~oOo~

_December 22_

Dear Finnick,

Katniss came by today. She said Peeta is still treating her coldly. She was sad.

But she smiled when she touched my belly. She didn't feel him move like I do, but she still smiled, because she knew he was there even if she didn't feel him.

She didn't really know what to say to me. I noticed how awkward she looked. She doesn't know me that well. I don't know her that well either.

But she stayed here for hours, just staying silent with me. It was nice. I like her.

Annie.

~oOo~

_January 10_

Dear Finnick,

Seven months pregnant. I can barely walk straight. I wobble when I walk.

I feel like a penguin.

Annie.

~oOo~

_January 29_

Dear Finnick,

He's kicking. Now people can actually feel what I'm feeling; that's he's moving inside of me.

It hurts sometimes, but I forgive him. I don't think he knows he hurts me.

Bob Taylor told me the baby can hear me and that I should read or sing to him. Just talk to him so that he'd know what my voice sounds like.

I told him about you.

I want him to know you.

He didn't kick as I talked. I think he listened.

Annie.

~oOo~

_February 13_

Dear Finnick,

Eight months pregnant.

Oh dear God.

Annie.

~oOo~

_February 16_

Dear Finnick,

I'm so scared. I can't do this without you.

Annie.

~oOo~

_February 17_

Dear Finnick,

What if he'd hate me?

Annie.

~oOo~

_February 18_

Dear Finnick,

Johanna told me that he'd not hate me. I hope she's right.

I'm in bed all day, because I can't do anything anyway. Johanna told me to rest as much as I can. So I'm doing as she said.

Annie.

~oOo~

_February 23_

Dear Finnick,

Gale moved in. He wanted to be closer to Johanna, because she told him she's going to stay here for a bit longer, even after the baby is born.

He talked to our baby today. He told him stories about woods and deer. He told me he's a hunter earlier that day, but when he told our baby those stories he never killed the deer. He let them live.

He's nice.

Annie.

~oOo~

_February 27_

Dear Finnick,

I saw Gale and Johanna kissing today.

I'm jealous.

I miss you.

Annie.

~oOo~

_March 1_

Dear Finnick,

Nine months pregnant.

Annie.

~oOo~

_March 3_

Dear Finnick,

I'm shaking so hard. I'm scared.

I can feel him moving inside of me. I got used to this feeling. It's now the best feeling in the world.

Bob Taylor told me I might give birth to him in the next two weeks.

I wish you were here.

Annie.

~oOo~

_March 7_

Dear Finnick,

My whole body hurts.

Annie.

~oOo~

_March 13_

Dear Finnick,

I have contractions.

I feel like I'm about to die.

Annie.

~oOo~

_March 14_

Dear Finnick,

It was a long, long night.

I'm in so much pain right now, but I'm also happy.

Our baby, Dylan, is in my arms, sleeping.

I called him Dylan, just like you wanted.

Dylan barely opens his eyes. He opened them just one time. His eyes are green. Johanna, who saw them, said that they're just like my eyes.

I told her that they're just like yours.

His hair is brighter than mine. It's bronze. Like your hair.

Johanna said that he's already a hottie, even if he was born just a few hours ago.

I agreed with her on this one. He looks exactly like you.

I'm happy and sad, but more happy than sad. You're not here, and I'm so sad about it. But Dylan is here, our son is here, and he looks so healthy, so happy and peaceful, so amazing. I'm happy because of him.

He's like you because he, too, makes me feel alive and happy, and not empty and miserable.

I'm blessed to have him.

I finally found the end of the tunnel I was in, and I finally escaped the darkness.

There's finally a source of light in my life.

Annie.

P.S. – I love you.

~oOo~

* * *

_I hope you liked it :)_


End file.
